I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
