i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
