After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
