Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
