But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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