I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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