And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
