i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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