return my video game
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
