I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
