I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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