Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
