Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
