whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
