I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
