She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
