I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
