I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
