Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
