You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
