They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
third nipple confirmed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
