i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
