Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
