I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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