I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
