She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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