I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
