dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
