he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
