I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
