Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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