You're completely useless in the revolution.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
