At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
