Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
