I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She announced her abortion via fbk
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
