Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
