Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
