Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I checked into jail on foursquare
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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