eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
