Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
