i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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