ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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