There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
