this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
