are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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