As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
id be glad to
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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