I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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