nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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