I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am spending my child support on dildos
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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