It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
