it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
