Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
